


oblivious pumpkin

by mido



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Pesterlog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 16:46:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12845334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mido/pseuds/mido
Summary: GA: Before You Attempt To Find Some Deeper Significance To My Trolling You I Would Ask That You RefrainGA: So How Have You Been





	oblivious pumpkin

\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 2:37 --

GA: Before You Attempt To Find Some Deeper Significance To My Trolling You I Would Ask That You Refrain  
GA: So How Have You Been  
CG: TERRIBLE, THANKS.  
CG: YOU?  
GA: I Cannot Complain  
GA: Vriska Has Very Recently Broken Off Our Moirallegiance Though So I Think That Is Cause For Despair  
GA: However I Am Not Necessarily Depressed  
CG: WAIT, SHE DID?  
CG: THE BITCH! WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANYONE *NOT* WANT YOU AS THEIR MOIRAIL?  
CG: AND DON’T TAKE THAT AS AN INVITATION TO GIVE ME REASONS, I KNOW THEY’RE ALL BULLSHIT.  
CG: YOU’RE THE BEST SHE’LL EVER GET IN *ANY* QUADRANT, AND SHE’S TOO SELF-ABSORBED TO REALIZE IT!  
GA: You Sound Quite Angry Im Not Sure If I Should Be Flattered Or Confused  
CG: YOU SHOULD BE PISSED TOO! OR FUCKING SAD OR SOMETHING, I DON’T KNOW!  
CG: I’M ON THE GODDAMN VERGE OF BLOCKING HER I’M SO MAD!  
GA: Karkat I Ensure You Do Not Have To Do Such A Thing  
GA: Its Okay I Was The One In The Wrong By Attempting To Infiltrate Her Red Quadrant Through Pale  
GA: She Probably Realized It  
CG: NO, FUCK YOU, I’M STILL UPSET.  
CG: YOU DIDN’T *START* FLUSHED FOR HER, YOU JUST FLIPPED AFTER THE RELATIONSHIP WAS OFFICIAL!  
CG: THAT’S PERFECTLY NORMAL! IF THAT’S WHY SHE DUMPED YOU THEN *I* HAVE SOME WORDS FOR HER, THE MOTHERFUCKER!  
GA: Karkat  
GA: You Do Not Have To Worry About Me I Am Quite Alright With It All She Has A Right To Choose Her Quadrants  
GA: Plus  
GA: Dont You Have More Than Enough Irons In The Fire Already  
CG: FUCK YOU FOR EVEN USING THAT PHRASE TO BEGIN WITH.  
CG: SECONDLY: I HAVE MY ROMANTIC AFFAIRS STRAIGHT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.  
GA: Are You Sure  
GA: I Have Heard Different  
CG: FROM WHO?  
GA: Sollux  
CG: BULGE-LICKING NOOK-CHAFFING JESUS I’M GOING TO KILL HIM!  
CG: HAHA! IT’S SO FUNNY HOW HE KEEPS PROJECTING HIS FUCKING REDROM FANTASIES ONTO ME!  
CG: I’M PRACTICALLY ROLLING ON THE FLOOR I’M LAUGHING SO HARD!  
GA: For Some Reason I Dont Think You Are  
CG: REALLY!  
GA: No I Think Youre Using That Thing The Humans Enjoy Its Called Sarcasm  
CG: I WOULD’VE *NEVER* GUESSED!  
GA: Yes That Is Definitely It  
CG: NO SHIT.  
CG: NOW TELL ME IN EXCRUCIATINGLY GRAPHIC DETAIL EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK HE TOLD YOU.  
GA: Who Sollux  
CG: NO! FUCKING, EQUIUS OF COURSE!  
GA: There You Are Doing It Again  
GA: He Said That You Have Been Dishonest In Your Pale Affections Towards Gamzee And That While He Does Not Realize It You Most Definitely Do  
CG: F  
GA: Also That Youve Been Dealing With Erm  
CG: U  
CG: C  
GA: Rather Flushed Dreams In Nature About Said Highblood  
CG: K  
CG: !  
GA: Am I Wrong  
CG: FUCK YOU!  
GA: Karkat Please Refrain From A Tantrum  
CG: NO, I AM COMPLETELY FUCKING JUSTIFIED IN LOSING MY SHIT HERE!  
CG: THIS COULD BE A GODDAMN HIT MOVIE!  
CG: IN WHICH A YOUNG TROLL REALIZES HIS MOIRALLEGIANCE WITH AN EQUALLY YOUNG SUBJUGGLATOR IS STAINED RED INSTEAD OF PALE AND PROMPTLY COMMITS SUICIDE VIA EMBARRASSMENT AND COMMON KNOWLEDGE AMONG HIS CLOSEST FRIENDS!  
CG: I CAN SEE THE CRITICS WIPING THEIR EYES NOW, IT’S SO FUCKING MOVING.  
GA: Karkat There Is Nothing Wrong With Vacillation  
GA: I Thought It Was A Common Phenomenon In Your Romcoms  
CG: THERE ISN’T ANYTHING WRONG WITH VACILLATION!  
CG: GAMZEE DOES NOT NEED SOMEONE TO PAIL, HE NEEDS SOMEONE TO PACIFY HIM WHEN HE GOES BATSHIT ONE OF THESE DAYS!  
CG: HE’S FUCKING PURPLE, KANAYA, YOU KNOW HOW PRONE THEY ARE TO CULLING!  
GA: I Think You Are Underestimating Gamzees Ability To Keep Himself In Check  
GA: I Thought He Was On Sopor All The Time Anyway  
CG: *THAT’S* BECAUSE OF HIS SAD EXCUSE FOR A LUSUS, NOT BECAUSE HE’S ATTEMPTING TO CONTROL HIMSELF!  
CG: HE DOESN’T HAVE ANYONE TO GO HUNTING FOR HIM, SO WHAT ELSE IS HE GOING TO EAT?  
CG: I BRING OVER HOOFBEAST AND OINKBEAST WHEN I CAN, BUT HE BARELY TOUCHES THEM!  
GA: Oh I See  
GA: Still There Is No Sign Of A Sopor Shortage Occurring Any Time Soon  
CG: DO YOU THINK I GIVE A SHIT?  
CG: WHAT IF HIS FUCKING MESSIAHS OR WHATEVER TELL HIM TO STOP EATING IT?  
GA: Though I Am Not Exactly Fond Of Gamzee I Will Say That  
GA: He Does Not Seem Easily Swayed From Things He Considers “Miraculous”  
CG: UGH.  
CG: WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ME BEING FLUSHED, ANYWAY?  
GA: It Has To Do With It Because  
GA: Correct Me If I Am Wrong  
GA: You Seem To Be Interested In Occupying Two Of His Quadrants At Once  
GA: Or If I May Be So Bold  
GA: You Would Like To Smear Redrom With Him  
GA: ?  
CG: I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU KNOW THAT?  
GA: Yes I Am Aware  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT, THOUGH?  
CG: SMEARING IS PRACTICALLY TABOO! I COULD BE CULLED FOR IT!  
CG: IT’D BE BETTER IF I WERE PITCH OF ALL THINGS FOR HIM INSTEAD OF THIS SHIT!  
GA: Karkat I Think You Should Tell Him How You Feel  
GA: Perhaps He’s Encountering The Same Emotions As Well  
CG: I REALLY, REALLY, *REALLY* FUCKING DOUBT THAT.  
CG: HE BARELY EVEN UNDERSTANDS THAT WE’RE MOIRAILS!  
GA: Maybe It Is Because He Is Experiencing The Same Things As You That He Does Not Fully Process It  
CG: JESUS, WHY ARE YOU SO BENT ON ME NOT BEING UNREQUITED?  
GA: Because You Will Wallow And When You Wallow I Am Forced To Cheer You Up  
CG: FAIR ENOUGH.  
CG: HOW WOULD I EVEN GO ABOUT BRINGING THIS UP THOUGH?  
CG: I CAN’T JUST POP INTO HIS TROLLIAN AND SAY “HEY, I THINK I’D LIKE TO PAIL YOU BUT I ALSO FEEL UNMEASURABLY PALE FOR YOU? DO YOU FEEL THE SAME?”  
CG: THAT’S PRACTICALLY ASKING FOR REJECTION!  
GA: Personally I Think That Approach Isnt All That Bad  
GA: He Will Likely Not Understand What Youre Getting At If You Are Vague About It  
CG: FUCK, TRUE.  
CG: DO I JUST MESSAGE HIM NOW?  
GA: Karkat I Think Youre More Qualified Than I Am To Answer These Questions  
GA: If You Want To Wait Then Thats Your Choice But It Will Prolong Your Pining  
GA: If You Want To Ask Now Then Thats Good For You But It Is Pretty Bold So You Have To Account For Courage  
CG: FUCK YOU I HAVE PLENTY OF COURAGE.  
CG: I AM DROWNING IN COURAGE JUST TYPING THIS.  
GA: Yes Of Course  
GA: Anyhow I Wish You Luck  
CG: WHAT, YOU’RE DONE NOW THAT I HAVE A PLAN?  
GA: I Dont Mean To Be Rude But  
GA: Vriska Has Been Messaging Me And Is Growing Annoyed With My Being Online Yet Not Answering Her  
CG: UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH.  
CG: FINE.  
GA: Thank You For Understanding I Will Troll You Later To See How It Goes

\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 3:09 --

CG: WHAT GIVES YOU THE IDEA THAT I’M GOING TO DO IT RIGHT NOW?  
CG: FUCK.

**Author's Note:**

> let them be 6 and stupid about romance


End file.
